Gwyneth Paltrow is not content with spreading her quasi-medical trumpery via her website. Our lady of the perpetually worried well is bringing her deathly fear of non-existent toxins and chic chicanery live to Los Angeles with an event called In goop health. There for a price ranging from $500-$1,500 (depends how close one wants to get to the epicenter of woo herself) one can find a floral salve for whatever ails one (?), have one’s aura photographed (??), or indulge in a cellular level sound bath (???).

In looking through the events, all designed to detoxify and cleanse of course, I found this gem.


Yes, the idea of getting so wasted that you need an intravenous to recover is being promoted as an attraction at a so-called wellness event. Nothing says we care about your health and really understand medicine more than “Go ahead, get so shit faced that you wake up with the mother of all hangovers, we’ll top you up with an intravenous.” GOOP should just go full Paltrow and give up the pretense and sell a line of supplements called Irony.

Let’s be very clear about this, alcohol is a poison. If you drink so much that you are hung over the next day your alcohol level was at least 0.1%, which means you were too drunk to drive. While some of a hangover may be dehydration most of that brain pain is because the toxic amount of alcohol you ingested caused temporary inflammation in your brain and fucked up your neurotransmitters. No one should be promoting this amount of alcohol ingestion, especially not someone who claims to care about your health and appears to have a paranoia about inflammation.

The woman who is so afraid of fake toxins is actually promoting a real one and an inflammatory one at that. Alcohol is also carcinogenic and harms the liver, but Paltrow and GOOP either don’t know or don’t care. Not only is binge-drinking recovery a featured event at her swellness event (God knows what supposed anti inflammatory swill might be in the intravenous) there’s a cocktail party with Gwyneth if you pay enough (and so many have shelled out the cash that those levels have sold out). Don’t get me wrong, I like a cocktail or glass of wine, but I’m not shilling fear of toxins for cash or promoting drinking to the point of serious intoxication. The irony and the gall of frightening women about non-existent toxins lurking in tampons or bras while not just promoting alcohol but toxic amounts of alcohol is maddening and disgusting. But that is GOOP’s brand of medicine, fuck science because it gets in the way of cash.

I wonder which of the medical “talent” attending the event signed off on this Intravenous therapy because to administer anything intravenous in California you need an order from a medical professional such as a doctor or nurse practitioner or nurse anesthetist or (sigh) a naturopath. But someone has to be writing the order. A nurse can place the intravenous, but whatever is actually administered requires an order from someone else and that someone else is not Gwyneth Paltrow or Lena Dunham.

In goop health is no different from anything else Paltrow peddles, a bastardization of medicine for cash.









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  1. Thank you Dr. Jen for telling the truth of what this pathetic narcissistic actress is spewing from her dumb mouth. She knows NOTHING a woman that I’m not even sure if she finished high school and she didn’t go to college thinking her knowledge is above a medical professional who has spent 6 or 7 years in medical school and that’s after a undergraduate degree and then working in the field before going out solo. She has no education and she seeks charlatans for advice and is using this to sucker any woman gullible enough to listen to her rhetoric. A woman who has a bad reputation one bad relationship after another with no moral boundaries (obviously when she’s conning women out of money). I mean this is a woman who dated Brad Pitt spending all her time shit faced and toking weed and not bathing for a week because they were acting like retro hippies back from the 1960’s. She’s just out for money (let’s face it her acting career isn’t exactly flourishing right now) and she’s trying all these methods to try and stay young she’s almost 45 and she said oh, I just realized I’m middle aged when a young handsome man in the car next to me wasn’t looking at me but another woman who was just as young. Took her that long to realize she’s middle aged and nothing she does is going to stop the aging clock and she will die one day she may have 35 years left or 40 years left and if she’s really lucky 50 years left but her lifestyle probably won’t she also smoked for years. Half her life on this Earth is over and in 15 years she’ll be considered a senior citizen! That’s truth for us all middle agers! Why anyone would listen to this moron I’ll never understand ugh!

  2. Yes, I hear you. But live and let live, no? It’s every individual’s choice and privilege to believe what they want to believe; this includes both Gwyneth and her followers.

    1. her advice is potentially fatal so… no. do not ‘live and let live’. raise the alarm.

  3. P.T. Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute, and two to take him.” Looks like there are more than two scammers at this event.

  4. I don’t know about any of this crystal Mumbo jumbo but Seamus Mullen is bangin’

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