Cosmo suggests donut enhanced fellatio, doctor says idea not without merit

I was alerted to Cosmo’s suggestion of pairing a donut with a penis this morning. “Gently stick” it on and nibble away.

Not altogether inappropriate for Valentine’s Day, but the question was “As a doctor, what did I think?”

My first thought was the person who wrote this for Cosmo hasn’t seen or touched too many penises or donuts as a typical donut hole is cut with a 1 1/4″ diameter cutter leaving the ability to “gently stick” the donut on the shaft of most penises, even with a generous amount of industrial lube,very much in question. My second thought was Cosmo should have better captions as “gently stick” just didn’t sound very sexy.

But the physical plausibility of it all aside, what about the science?

For the donut wearer the risk of serious adverse effects is probably low (especially given it is unlikely any donut will actually fit on the shaft of a penis). However, say one were successfully placed then it would be pretty easy to remove lowering the risk of the serious injuries that can occur with cock rings (which are not edible). The biggest risk to the donut wearer would if the donut had cinnamon sanding sugar as I have seen several nasty cases of contact dermatitis cases on the genitals from home made skin products with cinnamon. Penis + contact dermatitis ≠ sexy.

What about the risk for a female partner? Calories aside, the medical concern would be leaving residual sugar on the penis if vaginal intercourse were the next post-donut step. Studies looking at vaginal probiotics tell us that the placebo vaginal inserts, which contain sugar, can actually accelerate the growth of bad bacteria in the vagina. God knows what bad vaginal bacteria might do with a bolus of donut sugar.

So if this is something that appeals to you it would be wise to:

-Consider a donut with a larger hole, one so you don’t offend your partner about perceived girth and two, because you can fumble around a bit more and even if you don’t get it anywhere past the tip the smell and taste of donut does linger on skin and is not at all unpleasing

-If it hurts, remove it

-No cinnamon

-Be sure to lick clean (or wash well) before proceeding to vaginal penetration

***Remember, this post is not direct medical advice